de compressing after an altercation

I'm going to try not to let this turn into a rant. After this event, I had the opportunity to try out what I learned about dealing with 'harassers' on Friday. It's really hard to de-escalate a situation, and then to de-compress myself.
I am really grateful that the college sets aside money for events like this, because having Janet Chisolm here was about $300, and the event was an hour and a half. After being at a poorer college, I really appreciate NCC and what they try to do for students.
Janet shared some stories about people in history who have had to stand up for peace in non-violent ways.. including Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr, and their followers. During the Civil rights training though, they would practice even harder, by putting cigarette butts out on each other's head. How do you act calmly and empathetically when someone is attacking you? Think over your fight or flight response, and keep the ends in mind.
The path to peace and consensus is not an easy path. The way that one meets a situation.. with dignity, and respect for the other human being, greatly affects the outcome. Violence breeds violence.
See the common humanity in others.. another big one. It requires that we step outside ourselves.
The students were split into two lines.. the harassers and the promoters of peace. The harassers has to.. harass. And the hippies had to disarm the harassers.. find common ground, use words, body language, questions! I was a harasser twice in a row.. the first time I was exceptionally good at harassing.. I made it difficult for the girl. I got in her face and just ranted. I knew within the first few seconds that she wasn't going to retort with me, it's human nature. I could feel myself taking on the role with surprising ease.. I felt guilty afterwards and apologized, but she seemed amused. On round two, I had run out of steam, and the other girl asked me a question. She disarmed me. 'What if someone you know lost their job? It could happen to anyone you know.' (the theme was homeless shelters) I didn't have an answer.
Round three, we switched sides. I had a new partner to bark at me. She did a good job, it was hard for me to calm her down and reason with her.
I know the dynamics are different when it's not a pretend setting, and lucky me! On Friday I had an 18 year old flip out in a group I am working with, and used what I learned. Yay!
To make a long story short, we approached her to talk about when we were going to get together and put together the power point, and she blew up. It literally came out of nowhere. Our other classmates/ her friends were there giggling. I left high school 5 years ago, or at least I thought I did.
I could see human nature at work. She wasn't making eye contact with me, only with Nabil the international student. He wouldn't bite back, it's safer. I could feel myself getting angry, my legs quivering. But losing control will only make the situation escalate. It took me about 1 minute to get my bearings straight. Then I said "You must have felt frustrated when you didn't receive Nabil's interview over spring break"
And so we switched the focus to her feelings. This is called 'transferrance' in social work I believe. She then said that she wanted to experience the joy of the process of making a group presentation, and felt we weren't cooperating with her.
In the end, the situation was de-escalated and now we have plans to work together next Tuesday. I am determined to end on good terms with all groups I work with.
The hard part for me of promoting peace is diffusing afterwards. My heart still carries anger today, and I am still shaken up. I think that is the next step, how do I resolve the situation, and then go back to focusing on what I need to do? How do I refocus my energy where it needs to be- in my own life?